[ my own little world ]
life is beautiful? _____ 2003-09-29 || 5:20 p.m.

it's not a pretty world. have you noticed?

i have friends who say, "life is beautiful. every day is beautiful," and i think - what a strange thing that is for someone to say.

i have a therapist who tells me i should forgive, i should try to forget, i have been carrying this anger for too long.

how long is too long? six months? eight months? a year? i've kept these secrets for nearly a decade and now you dare say that i have been angry for "too long?"

don't you see? i'm not mad. i'm not angry. i'm not spiteful. i'm sad. i'm broken. i'm torn. don't you see? i've been betrayed by the only people i thought i could trust.

or maybe i am mad. maybe i am angry. maybe i am seething with fury for every single little girl in this world who feels alone. raging for each little girl who has been betrayed, violated, used, and abused by someone older, someone more powerful, someone they thought they could trust.

how dare they?! what gives them the right?! who the hell do they think they are?!

my heart aches for every little girl out there who goes to sleep at night praying that her life will not be replayed in her dreams.

imagine. a beautiful, innocent, precious child. so trusting, so delicate, so fragile. imagine her destruction, her devastation. stolen innocence, broken trust, shattered heart, crippled soul.

life is beautiful? i envy every person who honestly believes such a blatant fallacy.

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Currently
reading: LOTR
drinking: diet coke
eating: my heart out
hearing: busted stuff
wanting: some justice
feeling: like ass

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